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To be fair, I’ve also learned this by being a black woman.

In an effort to preserve sanity, I discovered very early that what is good and beautiful about me doesn’t require external validation.

“I get that they’re not looking for love, but aren’t they trying to hook up? Given the competitive nature of the medium, some men assume if a woman is too attractive, she may be inundated with prospects.

Thus, to hedge their bets, they may only approach women who aren’t considered unanimously pretty.

This little factoid adds a layer of difficulty for some of my friends, but the unresponsiveness and awkwardness isn’t unique to beautiful people.

Almost anyone who has spent time online dating knows the disappointment is inherent in the process.

They’re the stepping stone toward finding whatever it is we ultimately desire.

Isn’t it just better to hang out in the produce aisle and ask women how to tell if a cantaloupe is ripe?The consequence of unchecked privilege — racial, gender, economic or beauty — is entitlement.But, a side effect of being sidelined is an opportunity for ingenuity and grace.To find success at dating, on the Internet or anywhere else, we must possess an almost foolish willingness to fail. That’s the real secret “average-looking” women know: Unreturned advances aren’t the end of the story.

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